Twisted Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, butcouldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Dothese turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they'redead." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Caught for speedingThe cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding,rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the copfinally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuck under a bridgeA truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads"low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him andhe gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, apolice car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to thetruck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" Thetruck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Drunk?The drunken wino was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb andone foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in,sir. You're obviously drunk". The wasted wino asked, "Ociffer, are yaabsolutely sure I'm drunk?" "Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let'sgo." Obviously relieved, the wino said "That's a relief - I thought I was acripple." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dealing with troubleA deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The"disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy andMuhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escapeartist-probably better than Houdini." The giant nodded. "If I had somechains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are.But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quicklyyou can break out oft hem?" Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled andjerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Areyou sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "Ican't do it." "In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Too LateThe man was in no shape to drive, so he wisely left his car parked andwalked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by apoliceman. "What are you doing out here at 2 A.M.?" asked the officer. "I'mgoing to a lecture." The man said. "And who is going to give a lecture atthis hour?" the cop asked. "My wife," said the man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orion Si Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Boy Balls Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pelles Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 some good ones.... liked the one with the cop n the kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sortedford Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 some good ones there mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wez Posted October 24, 2002 Share Posted October 24, 2002 nice one mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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