Some good lines..................

[Al]

I've seen this before, but some of them are still pretty

> > >funny. For those of us old enough to remember the original Hollywood

> > Squares....

> > >

> > >The following are from the Original Hollywood Squares TV Show, back when

> > great answers were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they

>are

> > now. (Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.)

> > >

> > >Q: Do female frogs croak?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

> > >

> > >Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be atleast how

> > high?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

> > >

> > >Q: True or false -- a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.

> > >A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes.

> > >

> > >Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a

> > woman?

> > >A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

> > >

> > >Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think

>he's

> > really attractive, is it all right to come out directly and ask him if

>he's

> > married?

> > >A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

> > >

> > >Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

> > >

> > >Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three

> > >words to say "I love you"?

> > >A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

> > >

> > >Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands

> > while you are talking?

> > >A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter, and

>I'll

> > give you a gesture you'll never forget!

> > >

> > >Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

> > >

> > >Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to

>get

> > any during your first year?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: Of course not; I'm too busy growing strawberries!

> > >

> > >Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?

> > >A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

> > >

> > >Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.

> > One is politics. What is the other?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

> > >

> > >Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?

> > >A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

> > >

> > >Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?

> > >A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

> > >

> > >Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will

>a

> > goose do?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

> > >

> > >Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

> > >

> > >Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into

>the

> > habit of kissing a lot of people?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

> > >

> > >Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!"

> > What does that mean?

> > >A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

> > >

> > >Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body - what is it?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

> > >

> > >Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

> > >

> > >Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head,

> > what was he trying to do?

> > >A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

> > >

> > >Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your

> > elephant?

> > >A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

> > >

> > >Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

> > >

> > >Q: James Stewart did it over 20 years ago, when he was 41 years old. Now

>he

> > says it was "one of the best things I ever did." What was it?

> > >A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

> > >

> > >Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and

>has

> > actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?

> > >A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

> > >

 

:ghost: Al.