The real 'meaning' of names.........

[Al]

>Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.

 

>Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, well hung but very caring.

 

>Adrian - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.

 

>Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.

 

>Alex - cute and short but a liar and a cheat.

 

>Alastair - Dirty, Smelly, Pecker is minuscule.

 

>Andy - boring and has a small pecker.

 

>Andrew - gay and still has a small pecker.

 

>Antonio - has a great body and beautiful skin, and chicken brain.

 

>Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of weed.

 

>Arnold - loser.

 

>Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate.

 

>Barry - lights fires, pinches girls bottoms and is well hung..

 

>Ben - funny and can be real difficult to beat at games.

 

>Bill - funnier than Ben and always wins the game

 

>Bob - quiet and unpopular, eats with his hands.

 

>Brad - thinks everyone likes him...but they don't.

 

>Brandon - good looking but uses girls.

 

>Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.

 

>Brett - world wide slut and really insensitive, women love him.

 

>Brian - mean and only thinks of himself, no he's not the Messiah he's

 

>just a naughty boy.

 

>Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.

 

>Bronsen - annoying and never grows up - has a stupid name.

 

>Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.

 

>Bryce - fun to be with and will make you laugh, you'll kill him within a

 

>week.

 

>Calvin - immature in a naive way, drives a Skoda.

 

>Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex..

 

>Carson - fun to be around and really sensitive.

 

>Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in US movies no real

 

>person has that name.

 

>Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.

 

>Chris - can't pull, has to pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can

 

>use it too.

 

>Christian - very sexy and seductive (think 'Legends of the Fall').

 

>Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.

 

>Cliff - very sweet and adores girls, but very superficial.

 

>Cole - nice, funny, and fun to be around.

 

>Con - lies to women and blows up public buildings.

 

>Cory - funny but ugly, ends up running fashion magazines.

 

>Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.

 

>Cyril - well, Cyril.

 

>Damon - total loser in a sweaty sort of way.

 

>Dan - quiet but funny, but becomes easily addicted to narcotics.

 

>Dane - weird but can hold together a conversation with a mermaid.

 

>Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice.

 

>Darren - charming , but sleeps with men.

 

>Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates

 

>David - hotty and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence.

 

>Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter -

 

>i.e. a whacker.

 

>Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.

 

>Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.

 

>Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.

 

>Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.

 

>Don - dickhead.

 

>Doug - has a greasy face, drinking problem and farts.

 

>Drew - bad-arse losers who never shuts up.

 

>Dylan - horny b*stard, who can't sing.

 

>Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.

 

>Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get cos he's an arsehole.

 

>Edd – Loves knifes, guns, bit of a psycho

 

>Emrys - Load mouth gobby Shitte.

 

>Elliott - Full of himself

 

>Eric - shy.

 

>Erik - funny and treats girls how he wants to be treated.

 

>Evan - a little slow but sweet, sexy, and model mental patient.

 

>Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.

 

>Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.

 

>Gary - drug addict but willing to share.

 

>Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.

 

>Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.

 

>George - barman who drinks more than he serves.

 

>Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth

 

>Greame - very hard to understand, likes group sex

 

>Graham - will screw anything

 

>Grant - HORNY! but so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.

 

>Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.

 

>Harry - Covers his back

 

>Harvey - cute, but addicted to sex and/or drugs.

 

>Hathem - smooth, but very manipulative, not to be trusted around young

 

>girls.

 

>Haydn - tries hard.

 

>Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography (doesn't

 

>everybody!).

 

>Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him...yeh right!!!

 

>Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.

 

>Jamie - Scum of the Earth.

 

>James - hung like a horse.

 

>Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.

 

>Jeff - really ugly.

 

>Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.

 

>Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.

 

>Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.

 

>Jack - stupid but hot. Always alright.

 

>Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.

 

>Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.

 

>Joel - arse.

 

>John – clever, good with hands - tends to kill small animals.

 

>Jonathon - think he's good - he's Shite.

 

>Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.

 

>Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.

 

>Josh - full of himself, fun.

 

>Junior - hotty and totally good at football.

 

>Justin - aggravating but lovable, insecure but successful.

 

>Kain - the sexiest guy alive but very stuck up.

 

>Kevin - Always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large penis,

 

>really nice to women.

 

>Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.

 

>Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.

 

>Kim - very understanding and caring, feels lost in Korea.

 

>Kurt - can kick anyone's arse.

 

>Ky - see Kain.

 

>Kyle - hornball who eats too many cornchips.

 

>Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.

 

>Laurey - short and funny looking.

 

>Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.

 

>Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a plonker.

 

>Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.

 

>Liam - loud mouthed arsehole, normally found in rock bands and pubs.

 

>Lorenzo - fine and dresses in stolen gold.

 

>Lucas - fat loser that dates other men.

 

>Luke - seems to be sweet - Luke Solomons exactly!

 

>Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.

 

>Marc - Fantasises about pretty lights, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke -

 

>Tries to tell everyone

 

>Martin - loves himself, low maintenance, can be good in the sack after

 

>lots of beer

 

>Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy

 

>b*stard though.

 

>Matt - the Fat Boy of the class, likes sweets and is full of Shite.

 

>Michael – Thinks every girl fancys him, very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl,

 

>which is totally sweet.

 

>Mick - always drunk, tendency for drug abuse.

 

>Mitchell - the ugliest dog and he don't get any.

 

>Mohammed - Small Penis

 

>Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.

 

>Nick - HORNY! but really nice - can't get past the missionary position

 

>though.

 

>Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.

 

>Oliver - likes men but is in denial.

 

>Oscar - loser, a good name for a dog.

 

>Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.

 

>Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.

 

>Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays..

 

>Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins. (SEE WHAT I

 

>MEAN)

 

>Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.

 

>Rashpal - C**t

 

>Ray – likes dvds, Elvis, good looking, can be a git.

 

>Reagen - ...strange.

 

>Rhys - great lover but had his mind stolen by aliens a long, long time

 

>ago.

 

>Richard - cant see his feet balls are to big

 

>Ricky - ugly shithead who everybody hates.

 

>Rikki - see above.

 

>Rob - constantly watches porn.

 

>Roy - total loser and computer genius.

 

>Rupert - arrogant T*at who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.

 

>Russell - likes to play in the leaves which makes him an arsehole.

 

>Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.

 

>Sam - wannabe sex machine.

 

>Scott - has serious disabilities, total arsehole.

 

>Sean - has small testicles and no friends.

 

>Seth - so sweet to other people but is a traitor.

 

>Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.

 

>Shannon - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.

 

>Shaun - bit of a hard b*stard, thinks women love him.

 

>Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Talks balls.

 

>Steve - popular and funny when looked at side-on.

 

>Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but Great in

 

>bed.

 

>Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.

 

>Toby - best blow ever.

 

>Tom - cool but can be arrogant.

 

>Tony - hot, sweet, kinky, kind and totally fun to be around, likes the smell of own poo

 

>Travis - fat and horny with the best XXX collection to be found.

 

>Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.

 

>Troy - cute and popular.

 

>Taylor - gay.

 

>Warren - cool, homosexual guy.

 

>Wesley - great guy and easy to tolerate.

 

>Will - wishes he were popular.

 

>Zach - sweet and polite and adorable.

 

>Zahid - devious and sly. Not to be trusted.

 

>

 

>

 

>AND HERE ARE THE LADIES

 

>Ada - Blue haired, smells of wee.

 

>Aileen - laughs like a demented dog. likes tic tacs

 

>Alison - Bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light

 

>off.

 

>Amanda - I.Q. tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good shag

 

>though.

 

>Amy - Devious, Likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be

 

>trusted.

 

>Andrea - Small breasts, drinks pints.

 

>Angela - Vain, Hair style more important than oxygen. Usually found

 

>hanging around toilets.

 

>Annabelle - Virgin.

 

>Annette - She's BIG.

 

>Anne - Looks like a horse, can't drive.

 

>Barbara - Shags like a rabbit, not fussy about appearance.

 

>Belinda - Pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.

 

>Beryl - Repressed alcoholic.

 

>Beverley - Trapped in an eighties timewarp.

 

>Bianca - Ginger.

 

>Bridgette - Eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.

 

>Britney - Falsely improved, no use to society.

 

>Camilla - replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.

 

>Carina - Looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.

 

>Caroline - Lard arse, shaves her ears.

 

>Catherine - Attracted to the older man, needs ironing.

 

>Claire - Usually neurotic, gives good head, can have lesbian tendencies.

 

>

 

>Celine - Emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.

 

>Charlean – Likes other women, Drugs, Singing, sometimes a pain but sweet

 

>Charlotte - Enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.

 

>Cheryl - Can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.

 

>Christine - Likes men in uniform, never warm.

 

>Daisy - Virgin.

 

>Danni – Fat Slag, Should make nice threesome with sibling.

 

>Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.

 

>Dawn - Gets up early, smells of chips.

 

>Deborah - Bites the pillow, uses both hands.

 

>Denise - Sits on cats eyes, wears too much make up.

 

>Diane - Enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to

 

>society.

 

>Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.

 

>Doris - Purple haired, stinks of wee.

 

>Eileen - Eats scabs - lesbian tendancies with big feet

 

>Elaine - Rides side saddle, drinks meths.

 

>Elizabeth - Born to rock, hates chickens.

 

>Emily - Wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.

 

>Emma - Gullible and easily swayed by a good looker! Gives fantastic

 

>blow-jobs (apparently!)

 

>Estelle - Likes wombles, eats grass.

 

>Esther - Plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.

 

>Faith - Legs met at knees, can't shag standing up.

 

>Faye - Wears wellies, can't swim.

 

>Felicity - She'll stab you with her nipples, plays darts.

 

>Fiona - Female mud wrestler, gives head.

 

>Francine - French.

 

>Gabrielle - French too.

 

>Gail - Farts a lot, drinks Guinness.

 

>Gayleen - Big tall woman who talks shite all day.

 

>Gaynor - Lesbian.

 

>Geraldine - Too posh for her own good, likes flying.

 

>Gillian - Dyes her hair green, likes clubbing.

 

>Gina - Eternal mother, eats nappies.

 

>Glenda - Eats children, hates smoking.

 

>Georgina - Wants to be a man.

 

>Gwyneth - Blubs a lot, wees in the bath.

 

>Hannah - Needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.

 

>Heather - Shags like a freight train, a screamer.

 

>Helen - Hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.

 

>Heidi - The hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.

 

>Hilary - Frigid.

 

>Holly - Prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.

 

>Imogen - Drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.

 

>Ingrid - Right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.

 

>Isabelle - necessary on a bicycle?

 

>Jackie - Heroin addict, sold her child.

 

>Janet - Massive over bite, no neck.

 

>Jane - Babe, I'd drink her bath water.

 

>Jasmin - Smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.

 

>Jemma - Does anal, wears too much eye make-up.

 

>Jennifer - Huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.

 

>Jessica - Virgin, always will be.

 

>Joanne - Moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up - I

 

>wouldn't!

 

>Jordan - Ha ha ha ha ha - nuff said.

 

>Judy - Huge tits, married to an arse.

 

>Justine- Massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.

 

>Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.

 

>Karen - Can strip wallpaper from 60 yards just with her voice, waste of

 

>DNA.

 

>Kate - see Catherine.

 

>Kelly - smells of cheese, slobbers when kissing.

 

>Kerry - highly strung, nice tits, very popular with business men

 

>Kimberley - wants to be a bloke, drinks like a bloke, farts like a

 

>bloke, wears a wig.

 

>Kirsty - Eats live moles, can't dance.

 

>Kirsten - Doesn't like men. Doesn't like women.

 

>Kylie - Can't sing but who cares - BOING !!!!!!!

 

>Kym - Illiterate parents - see Kim.

 

>Lana - Hated by her parents, accidental pregnancy.

 

>Lara - Action packed, never seen naked.

 

>Laura – Likes Big Bikes, funny, reads to much.

 

>Laurie - Pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night.

 

>Leah - Likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.

 

>Lena - Eats food then throws up, rapidly shrinking.

 

>Leslie/Lesley - Likes bondage, hates men.

 

>Linda - Teenage bride, can swallow oranges whole.

 

>Lindsey - Likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.

 

>Lisa – Sweet, pretty, Will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn and fat blokes,

 

>Lorraine - Constantly whinges, will strip for a packet jellybabies

 

>Louise/a - Phwoooorrrrrrrrrr, Boing Boing Boing.

 

>Lucy - Strange dancer, wants to marry her dad.

 

>Lynne/Lyn - Bad singer, likes firing guns

 

>Madeline - Drives like a bloke, likes tractors.

 

>Maggie - Trainspotter, likes plaid.

 

>Margaret - Lovely mother, very generous.

 

>Maria - Bangs like a barn door.

 

>Marie - Life sapping dominatrix. Likes men to do DIY.

 

>Marina - No get up and go, rusty underwear.

 

>Marolyn - Eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.

 

>Martina - Ugly lesbian.

 

>Martine - Can't act, can't sing, nice tits.

 

>Matilda - Likes dancing, mainly the waltz.

 

>Mary - had a little lamb.

 

>Meg - Cheesy smell, should be spelt with an S.

 

>Melanie - Can hold 2 bar vacuum orally indefinitely.

 

>Melissa - Eats dogs, been in prison 6 times for burglary.

 

>Meryl - Dances like an ape, doesn't realise.

 

>Michaela - Likes animals, should make a video with them.

 

>Michelle - Wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag. Talks to much, sometimes

 

>says the wrong thing

 

>Marsha - Big butt, small brain.

 

>Monica - Doesn't swallow, should have.

 

>Naomi - Wannabe diva, more of a diver.

 

>Nancy - White hair, remembers tanners.

 

>Natalie - Eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.

 

>Natasha - Had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.

 

>Nell - Hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.

 

>Nicola - Slapper, alcoholic in denial.

 

>Nina - Stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.

 

>Olga - You can park a bike in her arse crack, excessive facial hair.

 

>Olive - Oily skin, oils up well.

 

>Olivia - Neutron bomb.

 

>Pamela - Gives amazing head, made of plastic.

 

>Pat - Butt ugly lesbian.

 

>Paula - Transvestite merchant banker for Basildon.

 

>Penelope - Pitstop queen, likes men to be stiff.

 

>Phillippa - Forest forager, likes wild boar.

 

>Petra - Dead dog.

 

>Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.

 

>Rachel - Amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arse

 

>cheeks.

 

>Rebecca - Hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.

 

>Rhonda - Help me, help me.

 

>Rosalind - Whahey, nuff said. Maybe 10 years ago.

 

>Rose - Can be prickly, good head giver

 

>Roseanne - ERRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

 

>Ruth - She measures up well, one of life's greatest people.

 

>Sadie - Stand up if you're slim, please stand up.

 

>Sally - Drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.

 

>Samantha - Loves her brother, has 4 deformed children.

 

>Sandra - Shags donkeys for fun, bow legged.

 

>Sarah - Likes pressed flowers and body piercing.

 

>Selina - Doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills.

 

>Shania - What?

 

>Shelley - Dumb blonde but writes poetry

 

>Sharon - Shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.

 

>Shirley - Can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.

 

>Sian - Does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.

 

>Simone - Used to be a shotputter from Cardiff.

 

>Sinitta - who?

 

>Sonya - Dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a "carrier"

 

>Sophie - Brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.

 

>Stacey -Likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.

 

>Steffi - Closet lesbian, maintains heterosexual relationship for effect.

 

>

 

>Stephanie - Eats Muppets, wears Brogues.

 

>Sue/Susanne - should shave more often, wears Denim aftershave.

 

>Tanya - Hot minx, too short.

 

>Tara - Upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.

 

>Tiffany - who?

 

>Tina - Face like a smacked arse, should eat less.

 

>Tori - Lives in a hedge, can't water ski.

 

>Tracy - Easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves

 

>kittens.

 

>Tracey - Lesbian.

 

>Ulrika - ka ka ka ka ka ka ka ka.

 

>Ursula - Likes puppies, in curry.

 

>Veronica - Round and likes having sex infront of cameras

 

>Vicky- Likes Yoga. And Women.

 

>Wendy - Possibly a man.

 

>Yvonne - Inhales petrol while skipping with worn tights

 

>Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon..

 

>Zandra - Strange appearance, eats guinea pigs dipped in chocolate.

 

 

Al.

[Colin]

Zoe - Talentless rock chick. Prepared to use sex as a weapon..

 

Ok Zoe, lets go to war, i've got my weapon!